1. May 2 – Letter from Tan Boon Kim
Today will be the day when we will know what will be the outcome of this AWARE episode. To the voters, I hope you will consider the following during the event:
1) Among many other undertakings, AWARE is an organisation helping distressed women. Some of them are just about to give up on life or even give up their life – we NEED to do what is best to continue to help these women. This is the paramount if not the overwhelming consideration.
2) Having strong values, moral or religious, are indisputably important. However, imposing a strong stand on certain value/s in all of society is unhelpful. In fact in this case, detrimental to AWARE’s work. Should AWARE cease to classify homosexuality as neutral, it will probably be easy for most to understand why, some lesbians and bisexual females, who will otherwise benefit from AWARE’s programs or assistance, will not even consider approaching AWARE in the first place. This will affect AWARE’s core mission to reach out to all women and dilute its purpose significantly.
3) As much as moral and religious values are important to many, we must weigh the merits of the individual value against other considerations in each unique situation. As there are other means beside the AWARE platform to support our value system, with less disruptions to society at large and more effectively too, the AWARE EGM is certainly not the venue to make such a stand or vote. In fact doing so, might work against your noble purpose.
4) AWARE had significant clout to date. It is the experience, creditability and effectiveness in helping distressed women that won it support from many, including numerous important organisations. Where does AWARE derive this? From its long standing members and staff. Without them, AWARE will lose critical mandate/s with such parties and will be a shadow of itself.
Please note that AWARE, in its day to day dealings, encounters with many situations that are not mainstream and even counterintuitive to the lay person. Hence, relevant experience counts deeply here and as in all progressive organisations, AWARE will benefit from meaningfully including and involving key players from the old guard and staff, whilst introducing new blood. Without the experienced AWARE members and staff, the changes and effects on AWARE will be drastic and detrimental to its mission and beneficiaries for some time. For this reason, we cannot afford to be reckless.
Last but not least, I will like to appeal and remind all not allow your own moral or religious values, distract from choosing the best for AWARE. It is not un-Christian to vote for the best team for AWARE and in fact there should be no place for religion to affect any voting in the first place.
I wish all voters a clear and benevolent mind for your task ahead.
2. May 1 – Letter from George Wong
You are THE BEST.
MOE’s affirmation of your programme is timely. The accusations by the new exco were really horrendous. They will never admit it, but it’s all about extending the influence of their church, COOS, which is obsessed with the issue of homosexuality. Their pastor has described the AWARE conflict as a spiritual war the church is facing and has written to ST on homosexuality (not published as far as I know).
I myself has written to ST to urge the church leaders not to mobilise its people to steer the course of events at AWARE as this would be clear interference by a church in the affairs of a secular institution (unfortunately, not published).
If all else fail, perhaps everyone should resign and reform. Let the COOS member run AWARE. They will have no credibility as they’ll be just an extension of COOS.
I’m sure with all the spontaneous support that you now have, you can easily form a “Rainbow” coalition with a broad-based membership (I’ll join as associate member).
If the new committee stays in power, I don’t think you should remain to lend them your support. They’ll just make use of your expertise and claim the credits. You might think you should stay to fight your cause, but I think, knowing the way fundamentalist Christians are like, it’ll be a never-ending battle that will just sap your energy.
I’m in my 50s but I’m energised and inspired by your clear mission, your integrity, how much you’ve done, your graciousness in the face of insults, everything you stand for. You are AWESOME!
With all my best wishes.
3. April 30 – Letter from husband and wife, Tan Boon Gim & Heidi Hui
Firstly, we would like to applaud you for your work and achievements with AWARE before the “saga”.
I have only recently taken interest in the happenings of AWARE since and have been avidly following the case. What we have gleaned from this and reading almost all the post in the we-are-aware.sg website, newspaper articles and portions several other websites, and blogs has only galvanised my original impression of a well run organisation led by a group of informed and capable women. Until now that is!
Well, many of these articles have already articulated most of my opinions and feelings, but just one. We just want you to know that we do support you on your mission to wrestle control from the current Exco and we feel that there is absolutely no ‘sore loser’ attitude in this at all. We need AWARE and AWARE needs to be run by well and relevantly qualified people and I do not think the current group qualifies. It will be a great loss to Singapore and our residents to lose AWARE to this group of fanatics who thinks that inclusiveness can be selective. Hence, though there are some who opine that your team should let public support take a natural course, we feel that your team should not feel any less for aggressively canvassing support for your currently mission.
In fact, I think it is a must that you aggressively obtain support from sane women so to get back what you have so painstakingly built over so many years. I also pray that you have a way to claim back all the monies they have mindlessly spent during the short time.
I hope your team is mindful of the venue changing and be prepared for any necessary last minute maneuvers.
We are unable to join the EGM on Saturday but our hearts and prayers are with you. May common sense prevail!
Cheers from a pro-inclusion family
4. April 30 - Letter from Chia Guo Hao
To all the determined women of AWARE,
I am proud to know that women like you are fighting for the equality of other women. Your actions through the saga has been honourable and deserve our respect. I sincerely hope the best for all of you in the coming EoGM. No matter the results, I would want to thank you for bringing this lesson to all of Singapore and do hope that all of you will continue with your efforts in realising your goals of a non-discriminating, all-inclusive society in the future.
5. April 30 – Letter from Siow Li Sen
Most parents including liberal me are uncomfortable when talking sex with their kids the first time. But it shouldn’t stop them when their kids have questions. It’s knowing – depending on the maturity of the child – how to explain with sensitivity. I recalled the first time I felt I had to ‘confront’ it with my older son was when I stumbled upon the porn sites on his computer. He was a young teen then. My approach then was to try to sensitise him to how awful it would be if these foot long penises poking into some women turned out to be me, his mother or his girl cousins. The idea was to show him how degrading pornography is to women. But I had to relate it by putting it into context. What I didn’t want to was make him feel just guilty for visiting porn sites, or that there is something wrong for his teenage lust which caused him to seek these sites. My concern then was to try to support him as he matures and help him instil discipline into some of his natural impulses. I also wanted to have an open dialogue with my sons on any issues, and not just on sex.
I think I managed somewhat because he did over the years bring up all kinds of issues he encountered, some related to sex and others on peer pressure, which sometimes he just needed me to tell him it was wrong.
He went to a local Christian school and he related how he felt bad when other boys teased those who were deemed ‘gay’ and I told him he should tell them off or definitely show it was wrong by not joining in. In fact he wanted to highlight this ‘bullying” plus the high ministers pay when he was given the opportunity to make a presentation during assembly. His class teacher called me in desperation the night before his talk and begged me to tell him he couldn’t tackle these subjects because being a Christian school – homosexuality cannot be discussed – and of course politics is not allowed.! Eventually my son agreed and changed the topic to how respect has to be earned. He also brought up the matter of how the discipline master in the school disciplined by pinching and twisting the boys’ nipples (through their shirts) when they were caught without the school badges. After he finished, the headmaster quickly told the assembly that the boys should concentrate on their studies, etc. But my son said the discipline master never pinched the boys after that.
I also think that is why it is quite useful to have third parties to give these talks. I remember when my younger son brought back the sex education material from his school, this was when he was 12. One of the materials talked about how natural it is for boys to have erections, especially in swimming pools. And how they can handle the situation. I didn’t realise before how embarrassing these situations can be.
My concern is that sex education at schools will be stopped because of the Aware controversy or replaced with a guilt based programme – and our children will be the poorer for it.
We know that premarital sex happens, regardless of whether kids are told it’s negative or positive. Anal sex too, for that matter, though I’ve always thought it unhygenic and won’t it work as a suppository, and so rather unromantic? .
My concern is the appropriateness of the material to the maturity of the kids.
You may not want to raise the topic of anal sex to 12 year olds but if it was asked, then the counsellor hopefully is trained to tackle it.
6. April 30 – Letter from Brandon Goh
Thanks for all the updates and news. Must be a tough time for all. Great work and don’t lose hope! Will not be able to vote because I’m an associate member, but will be going to lend my support. Behind you all the way!
7. April 30 – Letter from Calvin Hwang
I just wonder if you managed to gather enough women members to vote no confidence on May 2? I managed to persuade 4 of my girlfriends to join and cast their votes. Afer which I promised them dinner at St Pierre.
Hope you win, its a costly event for me.
Good luck.
8. April 27 – Letter from Malti Lalwani
Remember the question Mr Balji asked Josie Lau on CNA last Sunday 21 April — “What if AWARE was approached by someone who claimed she was discriminated against at work — what would you do?” And Josie’s reply was “Have to check with my committee first to see what is the direction we should go. Give us time etc etc.”
Personally, I think — if the new exco were still running aware after May 2 — they would be inclined to look at the workplace discrimination issue as less of a priority — but they would I feel, be more inclined to counsel this lady who approached them and try to change her sexual preferences to a more heterosexual one.
The implications of this? You decide.
9. April 25 – Letter from Mullai Pathy
Sorry to read about you recent travails but the good point is that the public has been alerted to a hitherto unknown threat – insidious takeover of secular civic organisations by religious nut-cases- and ultimately we will all learn from this episode.
Regards, and best of luck in recapturing Aware.
10. April 25 – Letter from Aw Guan Bee
I have been a regular reader of the Straits Times’ forum and of recent years, I have noticed increasing concerns by the readers of the forum on the aggressive evangelism activities by certain Christian groups.
We are a multicultural, multiracial and multi-faith society and we have been able to live in harmony with one another all these while.
However, recent-year events have shown that there there has been a surge of aggressive evangelism activities by certain Christian groups to convert the non-believers. These may give rise to tension among the Christians and the non-believers in our multi-faith society.
Only a few months ago, we had a Christian couple sending offensive cartoons materials to Muslims and as recently we also read on the ST forum about the attempts by Christians to convert Muslims which prompted some of them to write to the forum and raise the concern. If I have not recalled wrongly, there was a letter to the forum proposing the enacting of a law against religion touting against the aggressive evangelism by the Christians. About a year ago, we also read on the forum of the attempts by certain Christian groups to convert patients in hospitals when the patients were at their weakest mentally and easily succumbed to aggressive evangelism activities.
Do not you think that their aggressive evangelism activities can lead to tension in our multi-faith society?
And lately, the AWARE saga has once again raised the fear of fundamentalist Christians hidden agenda of imposing their beliefs on non-believers in our multi-faith society through a public institution.
As an atheist, I am alarmed by the surge of the aggressive evangelism activities by certain Christian groups. Could the government step in to advise these overly aggressive Christian groups to tone down their overly aggressive evangelism activities and be more sensitive towards the feelings of believers of other faiths? Otherwise, I am afraid their overly aggressive evangelism activities will destroy our multi-faith society one day.
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